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Experiencing loneliness – why it happens & what to do about it

    Experiencing loneliness

    by Corine Brooks

    Life is weird. We enter the world connected to our mother – needing the nourishment that comes from our cord being attached to her. Then the tie is cut. We are our own person. No longer requiring the attachment which bonded us so closely.

    The separation we feel as a new person holds us – where is Mom?

    Why do we feel so disconnected in that moment? Even with her in the room? Or in a room full of people?

    Why, over the course of our lives, do we feel alone in a world with SO MANY people?

    What are we missing?

    I ask myself this question often.

    I ask myself these questions often.

    What am I missing?

    Why am I feeling so alone in this world with so many people? Why do I go through life thinking I have no one to talk to?

    No one to hang out with?

    No one to vent to on my most stressful days?

    No one to laugh with, or cry with, but myself.

    I have no Idea why.

    Yet here I am.

    Living life Alone.

    Day in and Day out.

    With No One to Call and Hear me.

    We’re all figuring out why there is this space and void – this disconnect from society, from our community. We must nurture each other, we must fill the void with LOVE, TRUST, HOPE, FAITH.

    Research indicates that the high levels of loneliness we experience in the USA may be because of the way our society is structured. We all need to work to change that. It’s time for all of this loneliness to end.

    We must communicate, have empathy, give, and receive.

    How to build connections, so you stop experiencing loneliness

    Here are some ways to help remove the feeling of being alone and to build connections:

    • Develop a good relationship with yourself. Otherwise how can you have a relationship with anyone else. Other people are not here to meet your needs. That’s your job. Enjoy this new relationship with yourself and then seek connection with others.
    • Write a list of everyone you see on a daily basis. Ask yourself if any of these people are good enough to be considered friends, and if they are, start the conversation about getting together.
    • If there is no one, get involved. Connect with your local volunteering groups, i.e. Animal Shelters, Senior Centers, Hospitals, Churches, Food Banks….etc. Normally the people involved in these programs make good friends. They are committed to helping others and show it through their work.
    • Surround yourself with strangers. Go to a park on a bike ride, there are bound to be other bike riders you can run into and start talking.
    • If you go to the gym: Ask someone who looks friendly if they would be interested in being an accountability partner! You can build a great friendship with someone this way. You have someone to work through your fitness goals with and often times you end up communicating about other things while working out.
    • Read a book. There are great books out there about how to remove loneliness such as “Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions” by Johann Hari.
    • Call family: Often times our best friends can be a cousin or sibling.
    • Join a parents group! Many parents feel they are alone in the world. This does not have to be the case. Connect with a local parent group, make connections, set play dates and trade babysitting!
    • Don’t have kids, but have pets? Same thing. Join a pet group. Go on walks with other dog owners, connect with people who have exotic animals, or volunteer at an animal shelter to love on the kittens!
    • Make Connections. You will not feel alone in the world if the connections are built and nourished. Get off the phone and meet someone in person. Get off the computer and go for a coffee and talk. Make eye contact. Build trust. Keep the relationship going and growing by communicating, having empathy, helping others and being willing to ask and receive when needed.


    Get in Touch….Call Ardent Center today on 8888701775.

    We are here to listen and we are here to talk.

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